December 16, 2019
The bottom line is you are the only one trying here
Do it gradually and be gentle with you. You probably never faced the fact that
somewhere along the line you became a doormat. I merely worked on me so that I
wouldn&Vacuum bag39;t become a
hurt and cynical person, calcified by wounds that wouldn't heal due to repeated
hurt? Instead I just taught myself to intuitively and observantly figure out
friendships, to look for signs as well as look within my subconscious for
pointers and respond accordingly. No harm retaining that friend with as much
nonchalance and superficial bon homie that she pulls off with such élan.The
tell-tale signs are dead give aways of whether you must step back and allow a
pleasant acquaintanceship to exist happily in some remote background of your
heart or work harder at making it work.
Take it slow, take your time to evaluate
and grow into a together closeness.If you introspect and search within yourself
for answers it would be crystal clear when the person you thought was a 'close
friend' doesn't care. Maybe school friends or even a colleague who is interested
in you as a person. You could make excuses to your spouse or parent in
embarrassment yes- but please be honest with yourself. You cannot be a friend of
someone's in a vacuum.And yes it is difficult to tell - especially in the
beginning of a friendship when you are bowled over by your new friend- whether a
friend is a caring deep person or a frivolous manipulator.Look out for the
signs, introspect, be receptive to your own observations rather than
deliberately overlook dead giveaways and obvious justifications which are more
often than not made by you!
Your friend cancels your friendship dates often;
your friend never reciprocates a gesture; if you're upset your friend never
brothers to ask what particular factor in the situation hurt you because she or
he is too busy and too involved in their own issues to care or maybe even
notice, even too busy to have a conversation, your friend is offhand about your
presence and does not give you attention at their birthdays and anniversaries
but invites you as an obligation. It's a smart way of self-preservation. # Begin
to spend that time nurturing other friends while you wean yourself away from
this disinterested one. You cannot explain, complain and make it happen. You
cannot force liking or affection. The give away signs of a one sided affection.
Mail her at nishajamvwal@gmail. Begin to spend that time nurturing other friends
while you wean yourself away from this disinterested one. Don't cover up for a
friend in your mind.com. Maybe school friends or even a colleague who is
interested in you as a person. Don't rush. These things mostly are instinctive
and begin from a point of mutual attraction and a desire for camaraderie with
you.
You have set yourself up for a major let down, and this is your chance to
wake up and move away without making it too obvious. In that case don't be that
doormat you so despise when you see that behaviour in others.If you introspect
and search within yourself for answers it would be crystal clear when the person
you thought was a 'close friend' doesn't care. And no, I'm not saying that you
must replace your intense personality and change into a 'fake'. Don't ignore
these tell-tale signs. Your friend takes every mobile call and is very
distracted with her phone when around you nor gives you undivided attention in
conversations?
The bottom line is you are the only one trying here!Be smart and
before you get hurt start schooling yourself to move a few steps back. Too fast
a withdrawal will make you want to rush back at the slightest hint of
loneliness. Your friend never takes a moment to appreciate you or notice any
changes on your look or feel or mood. If you introspect and search within
yourself for answers it would be crystal clear when the person you thought was a
'close friend' doesn't care. There are your type of people out there, let the
misfit go and open the door and let something more pleasant in. Never
underestimate the power of mutual respect. Mutual respect is a biggie in a long
lasting friendship. I didn't.The writer is a columnist, designer and brand
consultant
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06:37 AM
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